Things we all hate about IVRs

IVR = Interactive Voice Response (see full definitions)

Here's a set of things I believe many IVRs do that annoy most people.

1) Long lists of menus "press 1 for this, press 2 for that", cascading into many levels.

2) Cliches such as "please listen as our menu items have changed" and "please hold for a representative".

3) Getting hung up on instead of transferring to a human. "I'm sorry, we couldn't recognize your account. Please try your call again later. Good bye."

4) Hearing a mix of multiple different human voices (or mix of human + text to speech). If you've ever paid a parking ticket in California, then you know what I'm talking about. There are at least 5 diferent voices (different ages, male/female, various accents) just to ask for your ticket number, credit card info and other details.

5) Forcing the user to wait with their key presses until the IVR is ready to listen.

6) Monotone & dull overly-official sounding voices (also, its evil twin: "reefer-smoking surfer dude will handle your banking inquiry today")

7) Being treated like a first time caller every time you call. Why can't the traffic line learn that when I'm calling at 8AM I would like to know the traffic conditions for eastbound 520? "welcome to the puget sound department of transportation line. This automated system is available to let you, the caller, get automated up to date information....blah blah blah... press 1 for highways, 2 for ferries and 3 for airport information..."

8) Getting transferred to another IVR (or human) who then asks you to enter some information again.
Agent: "Hi. What is your account number".
You: "I just entered it 10 seconds ago...."

9) Being placed on hold "until the next representative is available", and holding for a really long time. Even worse, being placed on hold when in fact it is after hours and the next available representative is a 12 hour wait.